When spouses separate through divorce, the court may determine partner alimony in its decision or in a subsequent ruling. The court generally orders the spouse with the greater financial capacity to pay partner alimony to the spouse who does not have sufficient income to provide for their own livelihood. In answering the question whether a spouse is entitled to partner alimony and, if so, in what amount, the court must take all circumstances of the case into account. This includes not only financial circumstances, but also non-financial circumstances, such as the conduct of the spouse requesting maintenance.
It is possible that the circumstances are such that it cannot reasonably, or not fully, be expected of a spouse to contribute to the other’s living expenses. In such a situation, the bond of solidarity created by the marriage—which may continue to have effect even after the dissolution of the marriage—can no longer serve as the basis for the maintenance obligation. As a result, a request for a contribution to the living expenses of the requesting spouse must be rejected.
In 2013, the Arnhem-Leeuwarden Court of Appeal reached such a conclusion in a case where a considerable period of time had passed since the marriage was dissolved. The Court found it plausible that the woman’s conduct, viewed in conjunction, had been experienced by the man as hurtful and intrusive, and that it had irrevocably ended his sense of solidarity with her. According to the Court, the woman’s particularly hurtful behavior could no longer be linked to the emotions that may accompany a recent relationship breakdown. The man stated that he felt seriously psychologically harmed by the woman and that he had required treatment by a psychologist. His career had also suffered as a result of his psychological condition. When the Court asked the woman during the hearing whether she understood that the man had experienced her actions as very hurtful, she answered in the negative without hesitation and showed no understanding whatsoever for the man’s feelings. According to the Court, this demonstrated that the woman no longer felt any sense of solidarity toward the man, as she was indifferent to him and his experience. Taking all circumstances into account, the Court concluded that it could not reasonably be expected of the man to contribute to the woman’s living expenses, because her hurtful and offensive conduct meant that there was no longer any solidarity. The woman’s request for a contribution to her living expenses was therefore denied.
In 2018, the Supreme Court— a court of cassation that reviews whether lower courts (district courts and courts of appeal) have correctly applied the law—ruled that the continuation of the alimony obligation is not based on the continuation of the bond of solidarity. The disappearance of solidarity can therefore not serve as a reason for the premature termination of the obligation to pay partner alimony. According to the Supreme Court, a court may terminate an ongoing alimony obligation if, by standards of reasonableness and fairness, it is unacceptable to continue to require the former spouse to pay partner alimony. This may be done in connection with offensive or grievous behavior by the alimony recipient.
More recently, in March 2023, the Arnhem-Leeuwarden Court of Appeal established that the woman had made grievous statements toward the man and his new family. Email correspondence showed that the woman had expressed herself in an insulting and provocative manner. The woman acknowledged that her behavior did not deserve a beauty prize. In its judgment, the Court noted that emotions often run high between parties in divorce proceedings. Unreasonable or rude behavior—within the dynamics of a divorce—does not automatically mean that the alimony obligation must definitively end. The Court established that the woman’s behavior had ceased some time ago and that, even after the grievous statements, the man had continued discussions with the woman to make arrangements regarding partner alimony. The Court therefore concluded that the woman’s behavior was not such that, by standards of reasonableness and fairness, it would be unacceptable for the man to pay her partner alimony.
In short, if you wish to claim partner alimony, I advise you not to give your future ex-spouse the opportunity to build a thick file against you. And if you cannot restrain yourself, it is wise to bite your tongue in time and, above all, to acknowledge that your behavior is unacceptable when confronted with it. After all, as people here sometimes say: “piska ta muri pa su boka.”
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